Random Things I Hear People Say

"People don't get it. Just because it's a little bit smaller isn't bad. It doesn't have to be this large sprawling thing."

"It felt strange not being sandwiched between two men... Just sayin'... It felt really strange."

What if I just talked about "The Dick."

"There's like 4 jars of urine underneath the sink... and they don't even have lids on them. This is bull shit!!"

"I wouldn't drink that even if you put meat in it."

"That's not how you said you do it. You said you put whip cream all over it, and eat if from the inside-out."

"Don't view your porn on register 1."

"I'm kind of impressed that you did it twice in such a short period of time."